Hey! I’m Sian,
I’m super excited that you showed up, and you are here… That’s sometimes the hardest part with the busy lives we lead today. So congrats on investing in yourself by stepping into a state of openness to expand your personal tool-kit so you can grow and flourish. My goal is not only to be responsible with the content that I provide to the TBOY tribe but to also inspire you, and share information that can consciously elevate and inspire your true nature. Why? Because back in my early 20s, personal growth and development became a huge part of my life. Early in my 20s I found out that the confidence I believed I had wasn’t true confidence and from there the walls started crashing down. I realized that the foundation I was ‘built’ on wouldn’t stand the test of time with the amount of challenges and obstacles life throws! So, I began my journey to build a level of confidence within myself that was unwavering. This is why I do what I do… because I believe that confidence is the biggest key to creating a lifestyle you love and living out your true potential. To make it happen for yourself you’ve kind got to be able to take a good look at ‘ the Business of You’ like a CEO would at a company in order for everything to stay in check. It just so happens that C.E.O in my world doesn’t just mean using it as an analogy but also as an acronym.
” C.E.O ” = Confidently. Expressing. Omnipotence. AKA YOUR UNLIMITED POWER
My goal… is to help you unleash your inner confidence and get clear on what you want to create, so you can live a life you love authentically. I believe this is how we can all live vibrantly, and in time thrive on a foundation cultivated in alignment with our purest essence mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I want today to be your turning point, to start on a path that breeds inner integrity, authenticity and unwavering confidence within yourself.
NOW LET’S GET to the POINT…
Today, I’m going to be sharing with you a secret process I use to disentangle the mind and heart; to get grounded and clear when fears, judgement, threats, challenges or negativity arises. I want to share this with you because I want you to live POWERFULLY. I know that inside every person including YOU there is a level of unwavering confidence that lives! The difference… Is some people tap into their powerful roots and others do not. Tapping into your ultimate confidence and power is what allows you to become the best version of yourself and create a thriving life you adore.
CONFIDENCE IS POWER
I’m telling the truth when I say Confidence changes the game! Imagine if the next time you faced challenges, obstacles or started down the rabbit hole of negativity you could stop the madness from taking over your day, your week and even years of your life! 1) What would that mean for you? 2) What would you be doing today if you no longer had fears and judgement creeping in? How would you carry yourself differently than you are today if you were no longer limited by the boundaries of your inner beliefs and fears?HONESTLY………….
WHAT WOULD BECOME AVAILABLE AND POSSIBLE FOR YOU?
That’s why I’m writing to you… Yes You. I may not know your name, birth place or the types of things you love and admire most in life (yet) but that is irrelevant. To me you are a human-being and you deserve it all. I truly believe this because let’s face it, we all have one shot at this experience called life, so we might as well live it out loud, and relish in the wonder of this magical reality! I also believe firmly that the more powerfully we live our lives the more we contribute to others… this is why it is fundamentally imperative that YOU LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT. One of the biggest ways we can do this is by learning to control our mind, emotions and perspective…
NOW LET’S DIVE INTO…
So… How do you really learn how to let go?
First, you’ve got to get clear about what you want to let go of because creating clarity allows you to focus on what is a priority. It also gives us a sneak peak at the core belief systems that either require shifting (A LITTLE INVESTIGATING and weeding) and/or beliefs that need to be pulled out. Sometimes… we don’t even know that there was or is a seed or weed planted in our mental garden that has been siphoning the other flowers from nourishment and/or that has been sabotaging our belief system.
WHY does this matter? Because what you believe at a subconscious level expands outwardly into your reality. Getting to the root of why circumstances or triggers persist in your consciousness reality requires a little consistency in tending to your garden!
NOW….If you are anything like me, I once upon a time wanted to change everything about the way I was choosing to ‘be.’ I couldn’t stand my lack of confidence that was sheltered and concealed through ego and my need to do more stuff in order to feel like I was worthy! I couldn’t handle the mental and emotional torment of caring about what other people thought of me, and the worst part was…
I FELT LIKE I COULD BARELY BREATHE IN MY OWN SKIN… I WANTED to be the type of woman who could say ‘NO’ without feeling guilt or shame, I wanted to be able to hold up my no bullshit policy without wavering and not be paralyzed by fear or fear of what others thought of me. I WANTED TO LIVE FULLY BEING ‘ME’ without reservations. My dream was to feel vibrant, relaxed, and impartial to external perceptions and ideologies. I simply no longer wanted to spend my energy where it was not serving me, and replace the negativity with self-care, love and creativity. I wanted to feel free of the chains of anxiousness, the need to do things ‘right’ and truly live life on my own terms.
Thanks to my younger self practicing what I now preach… I live confidently in my own skin and mind independent of my circumstances, failures, or the criticism that I receive from the external world. I’m thrilled to tell you that this isn’t some type of elusive pill you swallow or a genetic gene that you have to be born with. No. This is one of the practices that when done diligently and patiently over time, builds stamina, endurance and true confidence in YOU.
MY CLIENTS tell me all the time that their number one transformation is their CONFIDENCE because not only can they now sleep fully rested all through the night, but they know the power of saying ‘No,’ they practice the skills, tools and techniques and their lives are transformed at lightening speed.
I Have a QUESTION for YOU… Have you ever felt any of the following?
- FEAR OF FAILURE
- WORRYING and RUMINATING THOUGHTS (These are GREMLIN’S!)
- CARING about what other people think of you
- ANGRY & FRUSTRATED
- INERTIA and/or PARALYZED TO MOVE FORWARD
- FEAR AND ANXIETY
- STRESSED OUT TO THE MAX
HOLY SMOKES… I Get it. I really honestly do because I’ve felt everyone of the above. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, it’s exhausting and painful. BUT… there is a way to LET IT ALL GO and if you stick with me, I am going to show you a simple game changing approach to support your daily mental fitness practice. I’m not promising that you will change overnight, what I’m telling you is you have nothing to lose in practicing a process that I know works because it changed my life. I can give you the tools for your garden, but you have to be willing to do the work to keep it pristine clean!
This is what you need to know…
No matter where you are right now on your journey, you’re in the right place. You might be thinking HUH!?
What I mean by this is you have to learn to TRUST YOUR PROCESS. We all experience life in different ways and if you are experiencing high amounts of discomfort… it’s honestly for the best. Think of it from this angle: You can only move forward from where you are if you choose to take action. If you are willing to learn and ready to grow life is telling you YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE, it is apart of the process of shifting. One of the most powerful mind frames you can adopt is: Trusting the timing of your life. When you trust the world is teaching and showing you something instead of playing the victim game, you step into a place of possibility. When you believe that life is “Happening to you and not for you,” you feel defeated and beaten!
So! You might be wondering by now okay Sian… How did you build confidence from scratch, GIVE ME THE FORMULA! To be honest with you, learning how to own who your are with conviction is not just about affirmations and telling yourself “I Love Myself” everyday. First, it requires getting out of your head and into your heart. Second, it requires creating a mental practice that you instil and initiate day after day (A step by step process to clarify and shift thoughts, feelings and perspectives.) THAT”S RIGHT….
STEP 1: FLIPPED THE LENS.
Today I’m going to be sharing with you the same formula I used so you can add it to your tool-kit! I’m excited because I hear so much self-sabotage from beautiful people who truly have a bright light to share with the world. Some of the biggest sentences I hear people say is: ” I’ll do this or that when I have enough confidence” “I’ll be ready soon, I just need to get more confidence first” or “I’ll figure it out someday… and someday Never Arrives.” These sentences kill me because the truth is…
YOU DON’T FIND CONFIDENCE… YOU BECOME CONFIDENT!* Power word is “BECOME and to become requires ACTION*
Confidence is an ACTION, therefor to be more confident; to live authentically and in alignment requires you to get grounded in your true roots (values, beliefs, priorities), and PRACTICE the act of BEING CONFIDENT by accepting where you are and who you are with conviction.
FINALLY… READ & PRINT THE FOLLOWING:
Here is the step by step process you can adopt to support yourself in bridging the gap between Who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow.
We “Let Go” through a Process of Detachment: Begin to weed out rooted fears that judge the self for ‘not’ being or feeling approved of or validated. When we are attached to our negative self talk, thoughts, and rooted beliefs that do not serve us we are still choosing to give them a place to exist in our mind, heart and lives. You must learn to cut off the oxygen supply to the ‘voice’ that does not belong to your future self. The only way to shift away from attachment is to Detach….
— to let go, and create space
When we detach we no longer bind to the emotions that ruminate in negative thoughts, beliefs and fears.
THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE:
Caring about what other people think …
Going down a rabbit hole of self-doubt…
Feeling hurt, afraid, angry, frustrated or anxious…
Worried or feeling overwhelmed
or Judging yourself
PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS & STATE WITH THESE 10 Simple and Effective STEPS:
1 Become aware of the “negative force” (Thought, Emotion, Memory, Experience) that you are clinging onto… This could be a thought evoked by a situation at work something that happened or perhaps something someone said or did.
2 Get clear on what emotions are present, and pin point which emotion is dominating the way you “feel” about that situation even though it is no longer happening.
3 Acknowledge the emotion, get clear about what the emotion is trying to signal to you and Why it is showing up— the why* is really important because… Our emotions share messages and signals with us to communicate when we are in alignment or out of alignment with our values, beliefs, our blueprint and/or our view of the world. So when we get clear on what message the emotion is trying to communicate we can decode what part of our belief system we are remaining attached to that is not serving us. Getting clear allows us to understand where our boundaries and personal values are being violated either by us or something, or someone in our external environment. Creating clarity allows us to step into a solution-orientated mind frame and take action to either create boundaries, say no or to wake ourselves up from slipping into beliefs that sabotage our progress.
4 Once you understand the root belief you have the power to Change your perspective and reform your beliefs about yourself and/or what the situation MEANS to you. One of the main reasons we are unable to let go— is because we are unwilling to face what we want do not want to acknowledge. This is where facing ourselves and doing our due diligence by taking a look at what we are choosing to believe in and carry around with us can scare us away. You will have to face the truth in order to create true transformation. Enters step 5
5 SAY GOODBYE TO PERFECTION HELLO TO PERSPECTIVE. You’re not perfect and no one is. We are all living on a rock we called earth in the middle of a universe we cannot understand fully— Take a moment when you find yourself ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, and settle into the magical fact that life is absolutely crazy, madly, and deeply spectacular beyond measure. Your duty in life is to experience this world— let that sink in and recognize how beautiful perspective can feel and know that a shift in thought it is always at your fingertips, then….
6 Breathhhhhhheee: Come home to your Breath! “Inhale Deep, Exhale Release.” The breath brings you home to a heart centred mindset— When you “belly breathe” intentionally and deeply it stimulates your vagus nerve which calms down your nervous system because it engages your parasympathetic nervous system and turns off your sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system. So, allowing your belly to rise and fall; when you feel stressed or anxious helps to relax your physiology and mind. You might be thinking… “Hey Sian I’ve been breathing my whole life but we’ve all got problems!” This is exactly true. There will always be challenges in life so adopting a routine that serves you can increase longevity by reducing stress and can increase the quality of your life by getting control of your system and having the power over it versus it having power over ‘you.’ Once again to be clear about WHY Breathing and tuning into your breath is helpful… is because when your vagus nerve gets stimulated with a deep belly breath because it runs closely with the diaphragm…
We stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system which switches on the “Calm” system aka parasympathetic nervous system and turns off the “Fight or Flight” system. Breathing allows us to…
7 Create Space— When we have the ability to step out of worry, anxiety or fear we offer ourselves perspective, instead of becoming “caught up in our emotions” or “immobilized” by them. Now you might be thinking wow Wwwhhaaatt are you talking about! Step out of my emotions??! My emotions are apart of me I can’t change them!!???
True. Yes, your Emotions are apart if you but you are NOT your emotions. You harness a Spectrum of Emotions— we all do. Emotions are the signals and messengers that provide us with feedback about our internal and external world relationship. Our emotions provide us with ‘feelings’ to tell us what feels in alignment with our core values and principles and/or our blueprint of how we believe our world “should” be. When we get triggered with negative emotions this is simply a bell going off that says HEY sister/ HEY brother somethings off! Let’s have a chat.
Stay with me…
Now that you understand a little bit more about how emotions work let’s take a look at a practical way that you can have a “chat” with your emotions and get clear on what they are telling you so you can “LET GO.”
Visualization Tool… for Practical Application
8 This is How you PRACTICE Letting Go! I like to use a visualization tool. A process I created to teach myself how to stop, create space, acknowledge, accept, reframe my thoughts/feeling and then LET GO through surrender.
MENTAL IMAGERY EXERISE…
Imagine you are sitting in an empty room, this can be a light space a dark space whatever you want it to be but imagine it in your mind. From here picture a pendulum swaying back and forth in the room. Now imagine that when you are sitting observing the pendulum that is swaying back and forth observing your emotions— Now imagine that when you are clinging onto the pendulum as it rises and falls to the left and right you physically, mentally, and emotionally experience the full force of those emotions. For example: Negative thoughts, feeling and emotions that continue for long periods of time, are only felt and experienced because you are clinging onto your emotions for dear life as the pendulum sways back and forth. So when you are feeling stuck on the pendulum you are staying in the same train of thought/feeling and not choosing to shift the meaning and offer a new perspective of what the situation or experience means for you– therefore you are experiencing the emotional disturbance mentally and physically versus observing the emotions.So to get from the pendulum to a space of observing (sitting on the floor) you must first begin the process of acknowledging what is happening and create space by detaching from the emotional experience through the power of perspective. The transition will require…
9 Patience as you learn to shift your focus from “being in the emotion— aka riding the pendulum with a death grip” to stepping off the pendulum and observing your emotion.
HERE are 5 questions you can mentally process to become the Observer vs. Being Stuck in the emotion on the pendulum:
- Expanding Awareness (What is actually happening? What am I fearful of?
- Deepening your understanding and acceptance of the emotions (What does this mean to me? What is it about what I currently believe that makes this fear true for me?
- Acknowledgment of the emotion or trigger (For instance ask what is this situation or emotion showing me? What is the teaching? Lesson? What is it asking me to look at?
- Ask: What can I learn from what is showing up? How can I take positive action? CHANGE THE MEANING OF WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING by:
- Changing your perspective — When you shift the angle of your point of view you create space, and leverage the opportunity to see things differently. Doing this changes the meaning of your circumstances and what the result of your experience MEANS. When you change your perspective you have the ability to change your beliefs and when you shift your beliefs you learn how to respond and take action in your life in a whole new way.
10 You Transform by taking perspective, changing the meaning, surrendering and releasing what no longer serves your ‘being.’ You detach by replacing Old beliefs with New beliefs about yourself, people, places, and challenges that you encounter in your world. Remember this is a process… just like you. Practice builds you a new foundation over time. Cultivating awareness by becoming the observer and living in the present moment allows you to remain in a solution-orientated frame of mind. In time, learning to face what you do not want to look at will serve you by offering you lessons and wisdom that you can instil to bring about personal growth and transformation in your life.
THE BIGGEST SECRET TO LETTING GO: BE WILLING TO DO THE WORK THAT SERVES YOU…
Change the way you perceive yourself & the world and your life changes immediately.
As you get more in tune with your inner power by stepping out of the emotional pendulum and into the seat of observation, you will slow down the emotional waxes and wanes bringing them to a HALT! Reducing the swaying of your emotions & feeling by shorting the duration of time it takes for you to process the messages and release them, the faster you learn to free yourself from the emotions that do not serve you. In time you build up your mental strength and learn how to control your emotions gracefully.
NOW That is How You BRIDGE a GAP!
BE HONEST Has this been helpful?
HELL YES / HELL NO