“Self-Love” words I could not stand to hear 10 years ago, and now I live them out loud…
The word “Self-love” is not exactly what any person dreams of hearing today, mainly because the ideology of these two words are taken to extremes. People usually think “Self-love is lame, that it is only for pansies. People often cringe even at the sound of it because it causes a sense of discomfort. That was me, until I learned the true value of cultivating self-love. It was only when I truly understood what self-love was, that I started shifting what it meant for me.
Years ago I identified myself as a type A personality, with a highly competitive nature. The evolution of my process has proven the opposite to a degree. The version of me in the past believed that breaking myself down mentally would build me up, and make me better. In some cases my idea of using fear as a ‘push’ worked… but it only got me so far. Over the years I learned that love was true strength, that it is the only source that allows one to thrive consistently independent of situation or circumstance- it is unconditional.
Creating a connection with yourself allows you to acknowledge, accept and let go of what does not serve you. Re-connecting where you are disconnected allows you to be authentic to yourself. This is what I have come to know first hand. I have learned that stepping out from behind the different masks of fear allows you to observe ‘who you are’ and get clear on who you are becoming.
When I look back, I see how I was condemning my process, and who I was. Today, I accept who I am, and am able observe where I am in my process. This makes a huge difference in every aspect of my life. Before I had so much self-judgement, so much irritation around what was and was not working for me in my life; the way things “should or could be if only.” As soon as I started seeing how much pressure, and pain I was forcing myself to digest I slowly realized how much I was suffocating myself from the inside-out.
“Changing the way I viewed myself, changed the way I see, and experience others. More acceptance, more love.”
Self- Love is not lofty and ‘Woo woo’ it is necessary.
People have a tendency to believe that if you take care of yourself too much, or if you put yourself first you are self righteous. If you are not putting yourself on the back-burner in some aspect of your life you are “selfish?”
I firmly believe self-love is the only way for a woman or a man to cultivate acceptance, and compassion for themselves and others. I also believe it to be the birth place of self-esteem and confidence because without a solid foundation in personal care towards yourself, you cannot feel full, whole and you have less to give. People who have a lot of self-love, have little or no anxiety and worry. That may be a bold statement, but those who value and accept themselves own it. They are comfortable in their own skin because they own who they are wholeheartedly. This is what gives them that radiating glow in a room, their authentic confidence. I wonder what we could achieve individually, and collectively if we all offered ourselves more love? I think about how everyone has the potential to silently change their life, and in turn the world ,when they choose to fill themselves up, and spread what they have to give from the inside out.